Why I'm a Marriage Celebrant…
…so I can help lovely couples like Tracey and Hayden.
Thanks for the cute note Tracey and Hayden!
To be happy
I’ve always meant to read one of the books about the Dalai Lama – he is up there with Mother Teresa in terms of world peace humanitarianism isn’t he.
In comparison most of us can only hope to reach a minute state of the serenity and level of compassion of these incredible role models – but the point is to keep trying. I’ve tried through http://meditateinauckland.org but the young Buddhist (lady) monk was so relaxing I found it hard to stay awake!
Then recently I found a book on the Dalai Lamas teachings lying on a bus stop seat (seriously) when I had just got a book out of the library – The Wisdom of Forgiveness – a lovely set of stories by the Dalai Lama written/transcribed by Victor Chan – who by chance met 30 or so years ago and maintained a friendship of sorts. I knew I was on the right track and the universe was giving me the message I needed! One interview goes like this:
Victor: Let’s not talk about difficult things like nirvana or enlightenment. But what do you want to achieve?
The Dalai Lama: To be happy. My practise helps me lead a useful life. If I can give some short moment of happiness to others, then I feel that my life has achieved some purpose. This gives me deep mental satisfaction – this feeling always comes if you serve others. So, when I help others, I feel happy. For me, the most important thing is human compassion, a sense of caring for one another.
Then it dawned on me – this is why I became a marriage celebrant!! So I feel helpful to others (and hopefully add a little value for them during a major life event) and has the added bonus that it makes me happy!
Deep I know. But true!
April Fools Marriage Proposal
OMG – I think the Bride proves she makes fantastic marriage material – she stays incredibly calm under the pressure of a potential plane crash!
Sorry, wanted to post this on April Fools Day (although it is still April Fools somewhere in the world!)
Kids plan the darndest weddings!
Flava radio station ran this crazy competition – Kids Plan the Darndest Weddings!
It all started with a ridiculous comment from one of the breakfast DJs (a single man) made the comment that he didn’t know what all the drama around wedding planning was about and that weddings are so easy to plan a kid could do it!
And that’s what the lucky couple who had been together for 10 years – their two kids planning their Frozen themed wedding at Rainbows End amusement park!! Incredible!!
They had a little help though with lots of wedding vendors donating goods and services, but the kids chose the venue, the menu (including ice-cream and marshmallows) and I when the kids were asked how their mum would get to the wedding – they said the bus!! But fortunately a limo company came to the party!
I would love to officiate a wedding like this one day!
Check out the video snippet…
Chinese Wedding Dress
Wow! What a stunning wedding photo! The BMW complements the Brides red dress.
I stumbled across this photo opportunity of a photo shoot on my lunch break! Funnily enough the informal wedding reception was being held at the cafe I was going to!
I think the Chinese red wedding dress is very beautiful – red is the traditional colour of good luck and auspiciousness. Today most eastern brides wear western white wedding dresses for the actual ceremony and change into the red dress for the tea ceremony afterwards.
The tea ceremony is the most significant event in a modern chinese wedding as the traditional three prayers ceremony is usually not practiced.
The bride is formally introduced to the groom’s family through the chinese wedding tea ceremony. It will usually take place on the wedding day when most of the family members are present.
What a lovely idea!
How you know he's the right man for you…
A friend was telling me about how she went on a movie night date and held herself back from getting an ice-cream – you know like the ‘don’t eat spaghetti’ on a first date rule, ‘what will he think if I eat junk food in front of him’ thing… I think we all agree that would have to be the first sign he is wrong for you – when you don’t feel comfortable ordering the food that you love!!
When you first start dating, it’s hard to evaluate all the signs – negative and positive. With all the excitement, the most important clues can be overlooked. And what makes for a great date may not be all you need for a great relationship. This checklist of positive signs will help you evaluate your date in a realistic manner. If you get a lot of these positives, this date might be a good choice for a long term relationship… and eventually marriage.
1. He has a sense of humor.
Of all the characteristics that are essential for getting through life successfully, a sense of humor has to be in the top ten. But what kind of a sense of humor? The sense of humor you’re looking for is the generous, positive kind that makes life more fun and the tough times easier. If your date can make your laugh and lift your spirits, that talent may help you through some future difficulties.
2. He cares about what you think.
A date who asks for and listens to your opinions and feelings, and better yet, who remembers what you say and builds on it later, and who responds with empathy, sincerity and caring, is someone you can communicate with and therefore, more likely to be able to form a partnership with you. If you pay attention, you can quickly notice the difference between the appearance of caring and real caring. If your relationship is successful, you’ll have years of talking to each other, so find someone who is interesting to talk to and also interested in talking with you. Your date should be able to carry on an interesting discussion on a variety of topics and at least show interest, even if the topic is not something he or she is familiar with.
3. He has an opinion, too.
A truly good conversationalist not only listens to your words and responds, but also has ideas and opinions. Your date should not hesitate to disagree with you or to bring up new topics.
4. He can work things out with you.
Recent research shows that the single most important quality that determines whether a relationship can succeed is how well the couple solves problems. If you have a disagreement while dating, welcome it as an opportunity to see how well the two of work it out together. If you can discuss your differences without becoming defensive or sarcastic, and you can listen to each other and work together toward a solution, your relationship has an excellent chance.
5. He accepts who you are i.e. you can eat ice-cream in front of him
A popular book asserts that “Men Are From Mars, And Women Are From Venus,” but I think it’s more that we’re all from different planets. You and your date are unique, special and individual and need to be able to understand each other and accept that you’ll perceive things very differently. Even when you and your date see things differently, you should be able to agree to disagree. Remember, the security and comfort in your relationship will come from where you and your partner are similar, and the excitement and growth in the relationship are generated from your differences. Different interests, opinions, attitudes and ideas will keep things fresh and alive between you. If your date does not become defensive or threatened by your differences, you can be interesting to each other for a long time.
6. He is open.
The whole point of dating, as we said before, is to get to know each other. While you both may want to take a little time before disclosing too much, your date should be comfortable talking about him or herself, and it should not be like pulling teeth to find out what you need to know.
7. He has a life with a job, friends, family relationships and interests.
A date who has a full, interesting life you would want to be a part of is more likely to be a healthy, balanced person. While it’s important to have some relaxation time and time to meditate or think, a life that includes a good career, hobbies or sports, community service and friends and/or family is reassurance that your date is motivated, focused and able to relate.
8. He seeks out knowledge.
Your date doesn’t need to be a member of Mensa or a mathematical genius, but look for enough intelligence that you can respect and admire each other. There are several kinds of intelligence, from school learning to independent education by reading, working traveling and life experiences. An airhead who looks good and may be fun to play with will not keep you interested for long. A date who is not interested in learning and growing intellectually may not be able to keep up over the long haul.
9. His modesty, humility and ego are balanced.
As you learn about this new person you’re dating, observe his or her character and personality for signs of a balanced sense of self. If your date can keep success and failure in perspective, admit personal shortcomings, and rise above disappointments and losses, he or she does have a balanced personality and the kind of resilience that can travel through life’s highs and lows and keep it all in perspective.
10. He is emotionally mature.
While it’s fun and charming to be able to be childlike when in a playful mood, it’s essential to be an adult whenever necessary. A date who is responsible, self-regulating, emotionally responsive, motivated, and in control of his or her impulses is capable of being a supportive, fully participating partner – no matter what joys and sorrows, successes and failures you may face in the course of a lifetime.
11. He has a healthy history of relationships.
Of course, if both of you are dating again, you have a relationship history. What counts is whether your date has learned from the problems, confronted his or her own weaknesses and shortcomings and grown as a result of the setbacks. If your date is willing to talk openly about his or her past relationships and can explain what went wrong and how he or she is learning to correct the problems, the difficulties in past relationships can be an asset rather than a liability. If your date expresses a willingness to seek counseling in the event that problems should occur, score that in his or her favor.
Remember, a smart date will be watching for the same characteristics in you. To do well in a relationship, learn to be the partner you would like to be.
And go ahead – order that ice-cream!!!
By Dr. Tina Tessina for YourTango.com
Happy Anniversary!
Me and My Darling celebrated our 1st Wedding Anniversary on the weekend!
We can’t believe where the time went.
Because the I gave My Darling a framed photo for his desk at work. We had a polaroid camera at our wedding which guests could snap away with and a pen to write a note on it. The one I chose was of us toasting with cool champagne saucers and one of the kids had written “LOVE U” on the bottom. Very cute and a good remembrance of a fun day.
My Darling put me to shame though – he went to extraordinary efforts to make our anniversary incredible including an adventure picnic with all my favourite things, plus props to remind me of our big day, amongst other beautiful touches!
I think I’m very lucky to have My Darling in my life and this was another reason why!
Looking into the meaning behind 1st Wedding Anniversaries, the first year of marriage is often considered the year of adjustment. As you celebrate this special 1st wedding anniversary, reflect on the both the delicate and hardy aspects of your marriage and of your love for one another.
Here are some first wedding anniversary ideas and symbols to help you choose paper or clock gifts associated with your 1st marriage anniversary.
1st Anniversary Traditional Gift
Paper. It symbolizes the strength in paper that comes from the interlaced connection of the paper’s individual threads.
1st Anniversary Contemporary/Modern Gift
Clocks. Henry Van Dyke wrote, “For those who love, time is eternity.”
1st Anniversary Gemstone
Gold Jewelry, Pearl, or Peridot
1st Anniversary Color
Gold or Yellow
1st Anniversary Flower
Orange Blossom or Pansy.
The meaning of a pansy is that the recipient is being thought about. The pansy’s name comes from the French word pensée which means thought or remembrance.
The meaning of an orange blossom is purity, innocence, eternal love, marriage and fruitfulness, and fertility.
Here are some good gifts you could choose…
♥ Books
When purchasing a book, think about your better half’s passions, interests, and hobbies. If you can’t write a love poem yourself, get a book of poetry for your lover.
♥ Matching Tattoes
I really wanted to do the wedding band tattoo thing, but My Darling didn’t go for it!
♥ Board Games & Puzzles
This gift would be a promise to spend an evening together working on a jigsaw puzzle or playing a classic board game like Scrabble. You can get custom made ones too.
♥ Stationery
This could include pretty or practical writing paper, personalized business cards, note cards, and envelopes.
This could include pretty or practical writing paper, personalized business cards, note cards, and envelopes.
♥ Tickets
Purchase a couple tickets and take your partner to his/her favorite sports event, movie, or the theatre. Other tickets could include airline, ferry, train, bus, or balloon rides.
Write out a voucher for a massage or for a dinner out or for a walk in the rain. Think in terms of gifts of your talents, gifts of your time, and promises you have made.
♥ Love Letters
Write a love letter. You can do it!
♥ Posters and prints
Posters and art prints have become a very popular art form. You should be able to find one that matches your partners interests.
Posters and art prints have become a very popular art form. You should be able to find one that matches your partners interests.
♥ Calendars
You could get an electronic one, or a pictorial calendar, or a diary, or a journal style, or an appointment book. Mark all the days that are important to the two of you, and add in a few new ones as a surprise.
♥ A Journal
An anniversary journal to record your memories of your anniversaries throughout your marriage. You may think that you will never forget how you celebrated your anniversaries, but the chances are you will! Write down how you spent your anniversary together and what gifts you gave to one another.
♥ Postcards
If you plan in advance you could remember to bring one home from your honeymoon. A framed postcard is a fantastic reminder of a romantic time.
♥ Magazine subscription
This gift keeps on giving for the length of the subscription. Go online and order.
♥ Paper weight
We were given one for our engagement in the shape of a heart.
♥ Sheet music
How great would it be to have the sheet music to your first dance?!
♥ Road map
To a romantic anniversary location!
♥ Egg timer
Hmmm could have various meanings!
♥ Kitchen timer
Again, take it whichever way you like!
♥ Wrist watch
A beautiful wrist watch is the keepsake for a lifetime that will get loads of practical use.
♥ Outdoor sundial
If you’re into garden sculpture this could be for you.
♥ Pinata
Your loved one may be sweet enough, but stuff a pinata with your partners favourite candy and they’ll love you forever!
♥ Time Capsule
Pack with facts, a newspaper, movies, music from your year of marriage… you get the ideas
♥ Picnic
Plan a picnic with paper plates and cups. If you saved any of these items from you wedding reception, use them!
♥ Treasure Hunt
Give your partner a treasure map and leave clues throughout the house that eventually lead to a romantic location.
♥ Paper Flowers
How gorgeous! Imagine receiving paper flowers! Use them as a centerpiece for your anniversary dinner.
♥ The Ketubah
The Hebrew marriage contract dating back to ancient times is called the Ketubah. The Ketubah is usually printed in a very beautiful, artistic, and creative way as a keepsake document for the bride and groom and as an heirloom to pass on.
The literal translation of ketubah is “it is written.” The Ketubah, dating back 2000 years, is one of the first legal documents giving financial and legal rights to women.
Most of the ketubah texts today reflect on a couple’s commitment to love and honor one another, and their respect for one another.
The content of a ketubah generally also includes the date and place of the wedding, the names of the bride and groom, and their fathers’ names.
How not to ruin your wedding
This is so funny!!! And I’m sure none of you will make these mistakes!!